A hospital is most often a vital starting point on one’s journey toward getting and feeling better.
But sometimes, despite every concerted effort of our highly skilled physicians and clinicians, some patients are too sick to heal. That’s the toughest part of working in a hospital and health system: facing a family who just lost a loved one.
For children, however, losing a family member is even more difficult.
“Death and loss are abstract concepts for very young children,” said Jillian Haley, Certified Child Life Specialist for Lakeland Regional Health.
Ms. Haley created the inspirational Hug Bear program five years ago, as an integral part of her role is providing children’s grief support throughout our 892-bed Medical Center.
“I tell the child that the teddy bear is very special, that it can store love inside of it. So I suggest they hug the bear and give it kisses, maybe whisper ‘I love you’ in its ear. Once they’ve filled it up with love, they give it to their dying sibling or parent. That way, when it’s time to say goodbye, they are leaving behind love and the parent or sibling will never be without some love by their side.”
The child receives an exact matching bear to keep. “I tell them that the bear I am giving them to take home has been specially connected to the other bear. I let them know that whenever they miss their sister or father, they can give their bear a hug and it will send that love.”
She’s given out more than 150 bears in the last two years. “It is, by far, the most impactful coping mechanism I use. It’s the one children connect to the most.”
Teens, too, embrace the concept.
“Having something tangible to hold on to helps children of all ages feel less powerless when saying goodbye to the people they love the most.”
Recently, Ms. Haley had a child come back to visit three years after her father died. Her bear had been lost in a house fire, and she was devastated and having a hard time sleeping. Ms. Haley was able to provide a replacement bear for the little girl.
The soft stuffed animals are purchased through a generous grant from Lakeland Regional Health’s Women in Philanthropy.
Ms. Haley is working to find tinier bears for those who have siblings in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.
“Providing the bears are just one small way we can help parents during a very difficult time.”