Supporting a Loved One With Alzheimer’s Disease
June 23, 2026
Carolyn Baldwin describes her husband, Gray Baldwin, as the smartest man she had ever met.
“He was an intellectual powerhouse,” she says with a smile. “Very interested in world affairs, very well-read … and with very high standards.”
A special agent with the Department of Defense, Gray’s job was to perform meticulous background checks on people seeking security clearances.
So, when he noticed that his memory wasn’t as sharp as it once was, he discussed it with his neurologist, who had treated him for peripheral neuropathy. The physician ordered cognitive screening.
When Gray was diagnosed with mild cognitive deficit, and later, Alzheimer’s, it was hard to accept – especially as he had witnessed how dementia affected his father, who had Parkinson’s disease.
His doctor prescribed medications to manage his symptoms, which helped slow progression of the disease. As his memory declined, however, Gray chose to retire early because he worried about meeting the standards he set for himself.
Loss of Self-Confidence
Very early on, however, Carolyn noticed that he was abandoning even simple pastimes he had always enjoyed, such as reading news magazines cover to cover.
“I would try to engage him about that – but he recognized he could not hold on to the information, so he wasn’t interested,” she says.
She attributed that to a loss of self-confidence, which she also has noticed in others with cognitive issues. “People lose self-confidence because they recognize their own disability, even when others may not recognize it or realize how difficult things are becoming,” she says. “I think people with cognitive decline don’t get enough support in that area. Most could benefit from mental health counseling around acceptance and understanding of the disease. Cognitive decline symptoms stem from a medical issue, not some deficiency in the person.”
Establishing a Support System
Carolyn depended heavily on her family during Gray’s illness. The couple’s son, Gray, is a local firefighter and EMT, and daughter-in-law, Danielle, is a nurse practitioner. Their daughter, Anna, and her wife, Emma, are attorneys in Washington.
“My son and daughter-in-law have a medical background, and my daughter has a legal background. When there were things to figure out, they usually had figured it out six months before we needed it,” Carolyn says, smiling.
Gray’s illness motivated Danielle Baldwin to learn more about the diagnosis and management of patients with dementia and performing cognitive assessments. She earned a certification to administer the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, which she now performs for patients at LRH’s Lake Miriam campus. She also sees patients with dementia for twice-yearly cognitive care planning visits.
“As primary care providers, we screen patients for cognitive changes and can perform objective assessments, order testing, and refer to specialists, if needed, to help determine whether a patient has mild cognitive impairment or dementia. Early identification and intervention can make a big difference in these patients’ and their families’ lives,” she says.
Danielle says family members play a critical role in helping healthcare providers establish an accurate diagnosis. “Family members are often the first to detect a problem, because what they are seeing is sometimes very different from what a patient is reporting,” she says. “Families need to be advocates for their loved ones and insist that their concerns are being addressed.”
Carolyn says Gray waged a valiant fight against the disease for 13 years. “You could tell that he was willing himself to remember. He never stopped recognizing his children or me.”
Eventually, the Baldwins sold their home in Winter Haven and moved to Lakeland so Gray could move into assisted living. About a year after they moved, however, he fell and broke his femur, which required surgery. Although he came through surgery well, he died soon afterward.
Carolyn’s advice to families dealing with a progressive illness like Alzheimer’s is to cherish the time you have together. “Treat them like the family member they have always been,” she says. “Accept them for who they are in that moment. Get as much support as you can for yourself. And don’t leave anything unsaid.”
Carolyn Baldwin recommends families coping with a loved one’s diagnosis connect with local support groups and Hilarity for Charity, a national nonprofit founded by Lakeland native Lauren Miller Rogen and her husband, Seth Rogen, and dedicated to caring for families impacted by Alzheimer’s disease.